Wednesday 26 November 2008

Woolworth-less and the End to the MFI Sale

The credit crunch has killed many businesses, mainly the smaller ones, but now the big, well known are falling fowl of the money problems we are facing and the two latest ones are Woolworths (one of the best loved and most known retail stores in Britain) and MFI (that furniture store). Woolworths have been around nearly a century and is the one company you’d least expect to go in administration. You would have thought it would be a safe company in invest in, but it just shows anything can happen.

If I had enough money I would make so much money out of all of this though. I would buy the two companies, and then sell all the stock at low prices, then sell all the property. Woolworths have over 800 stores, so that’s a good few million I could make out of that. If anyone wants to help me with my business venture, then you’re more than welcome. Although I know how we could save Woolworths. We should keep the ‘pick ‘n mix’, but put it up really high so that little children can’t steal the sweats. Also, they should rename it and call it ‘Pick one, and don’t mix!’ Well that’s my idea. I don’t suppose they’ll take my plan on board though.

MFI have also had to go into administration. Now that is their own fault if you ask me. Like other furniture stores, they constantly have sales on, and you can’t help but think, if they weren’t constantly doing sales they may actually have made some money, and stopped this from happening. Mind you, they have lots of huge stores and nice furniture so could make quite a bit of money out of them too. If only I was older and richer!

So the question is who will be next? We’ll have to wait and find out, it won’t be a long wait though, that I can promise you. Gordon Browns big idea to cut VAT and numerous other ideas may work when they are put into place, but I doubt it. Labour have really messed everything up haven’t they?

Tuesday 18 November 2008

I’m A ‘Celebrity’... Save My Career!

I was thinking of calling the blog ‘I’m an OAP... Get Me Out Of Here’, but then I decided I can’t keep picking on Old Aged Pensioners. There are rather a lot of older people in the jungle this time though, isn’t there. I hope that ITV are fully ensured in case one of them breaks a hip or whatever.

I have quite a few problems with it this year, as I did last year, and that is the definition of Celebrity. I think it is given out far too easily these days. Why WAGs (Wives and Girlfriends) are considered an occupation and a reason to be famous I will never know. The other thing is the fact that there is a guy in there whose only claim to fame is being gay really and the fact that once upon a time he was a top plod in Metropolitan police. How can they be considered reasons to be famous? Another thing is that I don’t know who half these people are, indicating their career is long gone, or the other half who I do know, but haven’t really heard anything about for a long time, also indicating the fact that their career is long gone.

Yet another thing that annoys me every single year, is the fact that none of them seemed to have ever watched the show before. Every year, and especially this year, all you hear is them being surprised over something which always happens. ‘We’re jumping out a plane?’ or ‘We’re being split up into groups?’ or most annoyingly ‘Do I have to eat that? It’s disgusting!’ It happens every year you morons. This is the eighth series now, and surely they must have watched at least some bits during that time.

There is one more reason why I hate I’m a Celebrity... is the general public. Every year we get 3 weeks of madness, although even when it is finished, all you get in the papers and magazines for weeks afterwards is ‘exclusives’ from every celebrity who appeared in it. So, for the three weeks at least, all you hear walking around is people saying ‘Did you watch I’m A Celebrity last night? OMG, did you see it when...’ and general stuff like that. It’s a waste of everyone evening if you ask me!

There is a good point though. And I find that Ant and Dec always seem to see me through the pain of being glued to the telly every night between 9 and 10. I don’t know how I’d cope if I didn’t have their cheeky jokes and puns. It would be nightmare. As long as they’re doing it though it will be successful, and ITV know that, so as soon as they want to stop, it won’t be able to carry on much longer with the same kind of popularity at least.

Now, I really do dislike Robert Kilroy Silks. I don’t know what it is, but I do hate him. I think he just a total t**t, there’s nothing else to him. That is how he made his career, and that is how his career will carry on I guess. The person I’m backing to win though is George Takei. He is the actor who used to appear in Star Trek, and probably makes him the most famous of the lot. He is 71, and I think that takes a lot of guts to do something like this at that age. Plus every time he opens his mouth I laugh because of his voice. All I can see the entire time he talks is him in a Star Trek costume. But you must remember, every time I support someone to win a show like this, they always loose, so I wouldn’t go putting any bets on him just yet.

Happy 60th Birthday Charles

So, last week it was Prince Charles’s 60th Birthday, and as a celebration of this, a bunch of comedians put on a joke-fest for him. Now, in my opinion, that is a great way to celebrate someone’s 60th, and I hope someone does that for me when it’s my turn, instead of giving me a pair slippers and mug with ‘60’ written on it.

On the Saturday after it was recorded, it was aired on ITV 1 as ‘We Are Most Amused’. Well can I just say, I was more than amused. So, mainly it was presented by Philip Scoffield, (why I have no idea, apart from the fact he is a patron of Charlie’s charity) and also by John Cleese, which was a great choice. He may be getting very old now, but he is still a great comedian. He is still fresh and knows how to work the audience, what else could you want?
So, first on was Michael McIntyre. He is a great comedian, the kind of person you would want to get stuck in a lift with, because you could guarantee he would make light of the situation. I totally agree with what the advert for his DVD says –‘Most gifted comedian for years!’ Yeah, totally.
Then it was Bill Bailey’s turn. He was also great, and I don’t think there was one joke that I didn’t laugh at, just hilarious. The best bit for me was when they put the camera on Prince Charles and he was laughing, now that’s something you won’t see again.
Then they had a clip made by the ‘This Morning’ team, which was utterly pointless and unfunny. They must have had a better way of filling those few minutes.

Then Robin Williams stepped up which was a shame. He has his funny moments, but I tend to get annoyed by him more than I laugh at him. I will admit he is very good at observing life and the things people do, but every impression and every voice he put on where exactly the same as his voice, just in a different tone.
Another little pointless clip, this time it was a fake news report to show the difference, and the similarities between life 60 years ago and now. It was funny and rather good and they put a good satirical view on it, which was quite surprising because it was done by two people you tend not to find very funny, but I can’t remember their names.
Steven K. Amos then came on. I think he must be the only person in the UK that can’t expect the fact that he is black, which annoys me. Let me explain. Pretty much every joke he makes is somehow connected to the racism and the colour of his skin, which does tend to get boring after a little while.
John Cleese came on, as he did between every performance to introduce every act, but this time he was accompanied by an old friend – Andrew Sachs, Manuel, or the guy from the Brand/Ross scandal as he is now remembered for. They then did a bit of Fawlty Towers banter, which was just good to watch, and a nice change from the rest of the show. Then it was the turn of my favourite comedian – Rowan Atkinson. Now I smiled as he walked on the stage and thought to myself – ‘He’s back.’ His comedy is just brilliant. It’s the way he delivers every word correctly, to perfection to make it funny. He is one of those people that could read the phonebook and make you role on the floor with laughter. I think he is just a genius of both words and laughter, and is much unappreciated by the public.
Then it was time for x-factor, why I have no idea.

And then it returned, after Daniel got booted out of X-factor, when I thought this week was his best performance, but it was going to happen sooner or later, but I can’t help but think – ‘That silly general public’. Anyway, as I was saying, ‘We Are Most Amused’ returned.

Jon Culshaw then came on in the guise of George Bush, which I felt needed to be done, and I also learnt that Barak Obama is as hard as I thought to impersonate, as he done a rather good impression, so I was wrong about that.
Omid Djalili then came on and done the opposite of what Steven K. Amos done, which was the right way. Yes, he does use his race in his humour, but in proportion and doesn’t go on about it, which is why I thought he was actually quite funny.
Then an odd pairing, Bill Bailey and Robin Williams came on to ‘rock the microphone’. Now that was brilliantly funny. And it’s even funnier when you consider what the lyrics were and the fact they are singing them to the Prince Charles himself. Hilarious.
Joan Rivers then came on. I hate her and her comedy, so I don’t really have much to say because I didn’t really pay much attention to her.

Then we had a surprise guest, and I surprise it was. When I saw all the ballet dancers, I did actually think Dawn French was going to come out and do the same sort of thing as she done in the Vicar of Dibley with the ballet dancer, so it was a total surprise when Eric Idle emerged from it wearing a florescent tutu. I was pleased it was Eric Idle though singing his famous ‘Look on the Bright Side of Life’, adapted to be aimed at Prince Charles. It is times like that when I wish I could whistle though.
I expect I was the only one who noticed this, but I found Rowan Atkinson very funny at the end when they were all in a line. I only saw it because I kept my eyes on him. Now he didn’t do anything directly funny, but was just the way he was clapping and singing along. Very funny.
So, overall I really enjoyed the whole thing, and I think it was a great way to celebrate the future king’s birthday! The thing is though, you can’t help but think that these comedians only done this for promotion purposes because a majority of them have at least one DVD recently or due for release. I don’t mind though, I still found it totally hilarious.
Sorry for the long blog.

Saturday 15 November 2008

OAP's In Need

Isn’t it ironic, that a show that is meant to better the lives of children from poor families or disabled children or whatever is presented by an old man who has no idea what he’s doing – Terry Wogan. And then when they came to our local area every hour I think it was, which was co-presented by Tony Blackburn, who seemed to have lost his hearing-aid.
So I think we shouldn’t be thanking the general public, but the care homes that let old people loose for an evening, once a year to spend it will a giant yellow teddy.

Children in Need isn’t as good as it used to be, in my opinion at least. I’ve always preferred Red Nose Day (Comic Relief) since I was little, but my memories of Children in Need were having fun and laughing, but for the past few years it hasn’t been. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, maybe it’s because it is getting worse. Who knows?

And, correct me if I’m wrong here, but aren’t we in financial turmoil with the credit crunch that’s causing the collapse of the British Pound? If we are, then how come Children in Need raised around £20 million from us last night? It proves that although the general public are idiots like I’ve said many a time, but we’re also quite a generous bunch when it comes to charity.

The little sketches they done were to short as well, which hindered them pointless in my opinion. They gave us a sneak peak of the Christmas Doctor Who which I couldn’t see the point of, the Merlin snippet and numerous other things. Gok Wan in Coronation Street was possibly the most annoying of the lot.

Another blog to come soon m’darlings.

Friday 7 November 2008

The Colouring of America

Is America ready for a black president? Is the world ready for a black leader?I think, yes, so here is my political blog. So Obama is the next president of The United States, and it was a proud day for America.

I, probably like most other people from my generation probably only supported Mr Obama because he was younger, quite considerably, compared to McCain. Obama will be a good change compared to Bush, whereas McCain has very similar policies to Bush. McCain just wanted to fight for freedom, better economy, democracy and anything else you can think of, and as Bush has proved, fighting gets you now where. Obama has a lot of common sense compared to that pair.

Barack, in my opinion at least, will bring peace to the Middle East. I believe Barack will focus on where Bush went wrong. I reckon that because of his skin colour he will have more respect down there. I wouldn’t be surprised he ends up sorting the whole dispute by sitting them all around a table. He will have enough respect to be able to do that.

Like all teenagers I’m sure, I stayed up a majority of the night to watch the results come in. Both the BBC and ITV had election night, but it’s times like that when you can see the considerable difference between the two corporations. The BBC, was very accurate with their information, unlike ITV, but it was very boring. It was just a load of people with grey hair sitting around a table talking to David Dimbleby. In fact it felt just like an episode of ‘Question Time’. ITV had an array of different people appearing on theirs. They had Jon Culshaw, which can make anything worth watching, and rather a lot of Americans, but it was rather fun to watch still. Although on a number of times their accuracy was a lot to be admired.

From a comedy side, Barack is pretty much solid. After Bush, whose mannerisms could and still will be, impersonated a lot, and McCain, because of his age and his similarity to Bush would have impersonated. I expect it still will be as well. So from that view, Obama winning is pretty good because people can actually take a president seriously for the first time in 8 years.

The whole thing had the feel of a Morgan Freeman film to me. With giant crowds gathered around a stage, listening to a speech which symbolises the end of a film, or in this case, then end of election night.

So, what a week for diversity it was. We’ve gained a black president and a black Formula 1 winner.